Hello Friends!

Hi! My mom keeps on saying she is going to start blogging again but doesn't know what to blog about. so here is her new post in a new era. I'm doing the same, so be sure to look out for my blog too! Thank you all! :)
-Megan

Empty

As I was setting the table for dinner tonight it struck me that our table is looking like this more and more often.  No, we aren't eating tacos more frequently.  Count the plates.  Five.  Not six.  There is an empty spot more and more often as Sarah becomes busier and busier with school, work, lacrosse, and socializing.  Really this has been increasing in frequency since high school began. Some nights it has annoyed me.  Some nights it hasn't phased me.  But tonight, it really hit me.  An empty place.  That will be empty more and more frequently.  That may be empty semi-permanently after this Senior year of high school is complete.  And only to be followed by more empty places.  I felt a little empty inside.  And I might have cried a little.  I might still be crying a bit.  As fun and exciting as it is to see your kids grow up, and learn, and become more independent, it is hard, too.  And the hard is coming.  All too soon.

Thoughts

A month and a half ago our dishwasher quit working.  Normally, I would have rushed out and purchased a new one, but for whatever crazy reason, I decided I want my kids to learn how to do dishes the old-fashioned way.  After all, I didn't have the luxury of a dishwasher until I was a Senior in high school and not only did I survive, but I feel that washing dishes with my siblings helped me grow closer to them.  Lots of laugher and talking took place at the kitchen sink in our home. I'm sure some fights occurred, too, but those memories have faded, and the happy ones remain.  Doing dishes by hand is not done quickly.  Dishwashers truly are very convenient and free up some time, however, we are still washing by hand . .

There is a silver lining in all of this.  I am often cold in the winter.  Very cold.  And putting my hands in hot soapy water has warmed me up every day.  Small perk, but a perk nevertheless!

Way above and beyond being warm, though, is the time that it has given me for pondering and reflection.  Many things are always happening in life and I don't often take the time to really sit and reflect on their meaning.

As I was recently given a new calling at church that has required me to rely on the Lord much more fully, more than a few realizations and inspirations have come while washing dishes and praying.  

As disease and dementia has progressed in several family members' lives, I have pondered on memories with those sweet people and am so grateful for their lives and influence on me and have prayed for their comfort as they face pain, difficulty, and decline in quality of life.

As people I know have lost loved ones - many of them suddenly, my heart has ached and my tears have mingled with the dishwater for the loss they are feeling and will continue to feel for some time. I have wondered how I can help ease that hurt.  I have thought more about how much those I love mean to me and how I can show them that love more often while we are all here on this earth together.

I have loved looking out my window above the sink to see my kids playing in the snow with each other and friends, having photo shoots, and chasing the dog with laughter and squeals of delight ringing out.  I've laughed out loud watching them, and also felt a twinge knowing that in only a few short years I will be looking out at an empty yard.  How much I love them!

I have washed and dried dishes with Darin by my side, and have appreciated his willingness to be an equal partner (and really he is so much more than equal - he does more than his fair share) in our home, to be a loving, supportive husband and father, to be someone I enjoy working with and spending time with.  I think we make a pretty good team.

These moments at the sink full of dirty dishes are treasured and a reminder to me that I need to take more time to sit and reflect on my blessings and thank the Lord for them.  My kids may not be learning how to wash dishes very well. In fact, they are very good at avoiding that task! But in doing the dishes, I am learning so much more than how to clean dishes.

And I am grateful.

New Kid on the Block

Meet Cooper.  He is our new puppy.  He is a Cockapoo.  He is cute.   He is soft.  He is playful.  He is fun.  He likes to go on walks.  He is learning to go potty outside.  He likes to meet new friends. He likes to chew on his toys, but he prefers to chew on socks or shoes. He likes to sleep on my lap while I am computing.  He is there right now.  We like him.

Love

For seventeen years, this man has been my main squeeze.  (A little longer than that if you count the dating days.)  It has been seventeen years full of ups and downs and sideways, and definitely full of love. 

Thank you, Darin, for being patient with me when I talk on and on and on.  Thank you for rubbing my back and playing with my hair.  Thank you for letting me warm up my icicle toes on your toasty warm legs.  Thank you for holding my hand when we go on walks together.  Thank you for being a voice of reason and pragmatism when my emotion laden soul needs grounding.  Thank you for being a wonderful father to our kids - for rough housing with the boys, for talking tenderly with the girls, and for generally spending a lot of quality time with all of them.  Thank you for being a spiritual leader in our home.  Thank you for working in the garden with me.  Thank you for taking me to the symphony.  Thank you for hiking with me. Thank you for giving me encouragement when I'm feeling down.   Thank you for being my best friend.  I am so blessed to be married to you!

 

I love you, Darin! 

Quote of the Day . . . Or Maybe of the Year

Sarah threw out this bit of wisdom last night in the car: 

"You can't just quit life!  Sometimes you just have to work through things!"

How true, how true.  I immediately informed her that I would be reminding her of this sage advice frequently.  :)

The hilarious sidenote to this is the context in which she came to this conclusion.  We were talking about our hot tub.  It has been exhibiting sub-par performance since we inherited it.  I mortified the kids when I said, "I'd be fine to just get rid of it."  A chorus of "NO's" sounded from the backseat.  And then Sarah's insightful comment was made.  In regards to  hot tub.  A leaky hot tub.  Oh, yes, you can't just quit life, and apparently you can't quit hot tubs either.  I think I'll have this quote made in to one of the darling printables with a clip art picture of a hot tub on it and frame it in our home.  Truly, words to live by!

My Boy, Matthew

This is my boy, Matthew.  He had a birthday last month.  He is nine now.  Yep, nine!  He has been such a happy boy right from birth, and I can't imagine my life without him. 

Nine things I love about Matthew:

1.  His laugh.  He has the most contagious, from the heart laugh.  We recently watched some family videos from when Matthew was about 3 years old.  We caught laughing fever just from the video.  He has a full, open-mouthed, loud, whole body laugh. You just can't help but join him.

2.  His face.  He is obviously a handsome devil, but I love watching his face when he talks.  His eyes tell stories even if his mouth is silent (which is rare).  He has so much animation and expression that it is  pure entertainment to listen to/watch him.   There is no doubt how he is feeling when you look at his face. 

3.  His energy.  Boundless, I tell you.  Boundless. Matthew rarely does anything without putting his whole heart into it.  His energy is infused into whatever he's doing. 

4.  His sense of adventure.  Matthew is not always the most cautious boy, but I admire his willingness  to try new things.  In the last year he has learned to go off jumps on his bike, skateboard, do flips onto the trampoline from the top of the swing set (I have to close my eyes for this one sometimes), and jump off the high dive at the pool.  I think Parkour (sp?) may be in his future.

5.  His voice.  Like his face, Matthew's voice is very expressive.  I love hearing him say, "Hi, Mom!" when he runs into the house.  His voice alone is like an embrace as it carries much emotion. I also love that he uses all sorts of fun words that most kids his age don't toss around very often. 

6.  His dancing moves.  The boy can move and groove!  He must have found some recessive genes and made them dominate because he is pretty awesome.  Break dancing is his specialty.  It is a dance form goes well with his sense of adventure and boundless energy.  :) 

7.  His curiosity.  He's always one for learning new things.  He asks a lot of questions.  I answer as many of them as I can.  The ones I can't answer (and there are many of those), we research on the Internet or at the library.  I love that he loves to read non-fiction as much as fiction.  He's a smart one, my Matthew.

8.  His thinker.  When he slows down enough, Matthew is a thinker.  He often brings up topics that I would never think that he had any knowledge of or interest in.  He is also thoughtful in his thinking - often concerned about other people.  How can you not love that?

9.  His hugs and snuggles. I know this won't last forever, but I am so grateful that Matthew will still come snuggle up to me on the couch to read a book, to watch a movie, or to just talk. I love it when he puts his head on my shoulder and wraps my arm around him, or when he asks me to lay down by him at night and sing him a song. I'll take that as long as I can.

I love you, Matthew! 

Happy Birthday, my boy!